He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
