Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
