Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
