I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
