I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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