do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
