We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
