He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
