it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
