i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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