How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
