It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
