Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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