That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
