from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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