I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
