We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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