You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
