how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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