apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
