**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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