It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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