i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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