Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I didn't shave. On purpose
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
