it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
