You just made me feel so damn special
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
