It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
