Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have fence marks all over my body
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize