Dual....:-)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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