Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
