I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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