Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
