Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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