she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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