i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
