Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
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I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
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You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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