well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
