I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
