i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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