i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
