Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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