my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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