He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
