Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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