kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just had sex on a roof
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
