My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
