Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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