So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
