You're my little dorito
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
