we have pet lesbian snakes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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