I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
