i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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