Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
