I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
