Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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