Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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