reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
