Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
