now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
