i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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