that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
