we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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